There’s a moment near the start of a funeral ceremony when someone leans forward ever so slightly. It’s subtle but I always notice it. It’s usually the moment I begin telling the life story of the person we are remembering. I see shoulders relax a little and breathing steadies as that more formal moment when we process into the room closes and now sat steadily it’s time to reminisce. Grief can make us feel adrift, but stories told of a loved one anchor us to others in the room as we share a collective smile or gentle laugh, the nod of another person who shares the same memory. It’s like an invisible hand on your shoulder.
A good celebrant is able to deliver a tribute that’s not just a CV of dates and events, it’s about helping those listening to feel something, taking their thoughts back to a clear shared moment in time, with feelings that help them to know they belong here today as they are woven into the story of the life being celebrated.
Stories don’t erase grief, but they help carry it. As family and friends step back into a world without them, those stories and memories act like a compass pointing back towards the good and the reasons life was better for knowing that special person, and hopefully when those memories come back they’ll raise a smile.
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